Wednesday, January 05, 2011

What Our Parents Didn't Teach Us about Success

What Our Parents Didn't Teach Us about Success

As youngsters, most of us were taught by our parents that if we wanted to succeed in life we would have to study hard, work hard, and develop our talents. That's good advice that has proved to be helpful, but most of our parents neglected to tell us about the most important ingredient of success. You see, knowledge and talent account for only 15% of the ingredients of success. The other 85% is due to a factor our parents forgot to mention.

Without this missing ingredient, we can never realize our full potential and will remain a pale shadow of what we were meant to be.

Barak Obama is an example of a great success. In his November 4, 2008 celebratory speech, he thanked his grandmother for all she had taught him, his wife for her support, his V.P. for his assistance, his campaign manager for his good advice, his campaign team for their tireless, round-the-clock effort, and his hundreds of thousands of supporters for their financial contributions and relentless "get-out-and-vote" campaign.

Yes, Barak Obama realized that the source of our power is people. The more we get along with others, the greater the likelihood that we will be able to unleash our potential. Getting along with others represents 85% of the reason for success.

One of the keys to getting along with others is to have highly developed communication skills. The abilities to make your point without offending others and to understand their viewpoint will make you an invaluable friend. But before we can perfect our communication skills, we need to know more about the subject.

Let's start by looking at a few examples.

John returns from work and puzzled by his wife's expression asks, "Is something wrong?"

"No!" she emphatically scowls as she rolls her eyes and deeply sighs.

John's wife answered his question by communicating with him in three ways:

1. VERBALLY. Verbal communication is our spoken language, the words we use. In our example, the verbal communication of John's wife was, "No." It is important to understand that verbal communication represents just 10% of the message's meaning, so it is not to be taken very seriously. Or, as Peter Drucker (1909 ~ 2005) wrote, "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."

2. TONALITY. We deliver our message not only by words, but by the tone of our voice. The pitch and loudness or softness of voice is more important than the words we use. In fact, tonality represents 40% of the message. So, the tonality used by John's wife allowed him to hear what wasn't being said. For although she said nothing was wrong, the way she angrily shouted "No!" revealed that something was, despite her denial.

3. BODY LANGUAGE. When John's wife answered him, she had a scowl on her face, rolled up her eyes, and took a deep, exasperated sigh. These components of communication are called body language and they represent 50% of the meaning of the message.

Let's take a quick look at three more examples to point out how we can apply our understanding of verbal, tonal, and body language communication.

Mary is thinking, "Although I politely ask my husband to leave the toilet seat down when he is finished, he always leaves it up. Why doesn't he comply with my simple request? Why doesn't he understand?"

The `problem' Mary is experiencing is more due to her lack of understanding than her husband's. After all, Mary gives too much importance to her verbal communication. Just because she says, "When you finish in the toilet, please lower the toilet seat," she thinks she is being polite. But her husband can tell by the tone of her voice and her body language that she is angry. So, his wife's message isn't "Please lower the toilet seat," but "I'm angry because you don't lower the toilet seat." In other words, his wife is effectively saying, "I find your behavior unacceptable. I find a part of you unacceptable." This is hardly the type of communication that draws couples closer together.

Here's another example. While speaking before a group, there were a few interruptions that interfered with my wish to make a smooth presentation. Although I was upset by the distractions, I didn't specifically come out and say so. Later, at lunch, a member of the group said, "It looked like you were upset by the distractions." This is a good example of the principle "You cannot not communicate." That is, even though I may not want to say I'm upset, when I am, it is impossible not to communicate it. Of course, I can avoid expressing it verbally, but I can't hide my feelings because my body language and tonality will communicate what I do not say.

Here's a third example taken from my adventures in Japan. I lived there 15 years and married a Japanese citizen. Although my wife came from the province of Akita in northern Japan where they speak a unique dialect, she spoke standard (Tokyo) Japanese when she was with me. When I met her mother for the first time, I couldn't understand a word she said because the Akita dialect was completely foreign to me. Yet, after a 20 ~ 30 minute `conversation,' my mother-in-law marveled at my ability to understand every word she said. How did this miracle take place?

Well, although I didn't understand the words she spoke, her body language and tonality revealed her feelings, which quickly changed with each story she told me. So, all I did was remain in sync with her feelings by interjecting generic phases to show I understood. At the appropriate time, I threw in expressions such as, "Oh, I see. Really? I understand how you feel. That must have been awful! That's surprising. Tell me more! Oh, that's interesting."

Another principle of communication is "The meaning of the communication is the response you get." So, it is not the words we use, but the response we get that determines whether our communication is successful. After my first `conversation' with my mother-in-law, as soon as we parted she informed all family members and friends about my `extraordinary fluency,' making me a welcomed guest every where. The response I got made my communication successful.

When it comes to great speakers versus good listeners, only 18% of the population would prefer to speak to a great speaker. The other 82% prefers to speak to a good listener. So, a sure-fire way to get along with others is to listen to what they have to say. By `listen' I mean what is called `active listening.' Active listening means you are fully engaged, not distracted. You carefully weigh the communication and ask for clarification where necessary. What's more, you encourage the person you're with to speak freely and express interest in what is being said.

THE MANY BENEFITS OF ACTIVE LISTENING INCLUDE:

1. It builds stronger relationships.
2. It makes it easier to resolve problems.
3. You learn a great deal, for we can only learn when we listen, not when we speak.

SOME OF THE BARRIERS TO ACTIVE LISTENING INCLUDE:

1. Anticipating what is going to be said instead of being open to what is being said.
2. Paying too much attention to what is being said, rather than how it is said.
3. Seeking confirmation of your preconceived ideas, rather than new information.

TIPS ON IMPROVING YOUR ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS INCLUDE:

1. Ask questions.
2. Encourage elaboration.
3. Listen empathetically. See it from their viewpoint.
4. Give feed back to check your understanding.
5. Be accepting and nonjudgmental.
6. Pay attention. Don't let your mind wander.
7. Maintain eye contact.
8. Don't jump to conclusions.
9. Remain open-minded.
10. Don't finish your companion's sentence.
11. Check your understanding by paraphrasing and summarizing what you think was said.

Think of people as closed treasure chests. It is only by openly engaging with them that they open up, revealing their splendor and enabling us to share in their riches. On the other hand, whenever we belittle, reject, avoid, condemn, or criticize others, we strip away our power, potential, and progress. Let's remember what our parents didn't teach us, the most important ingredient of success is getting along with others, for people are the source of our power, success, and happiness.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Your Business Tomorrow

It is 2020 and customers are living in an age of choice.

A large extent customer needs will be driven by technological innovation. Advances in microchip technology will find application across a wide range of industries that includes automobile, aerospace, oil, and gas, ICT, nanotechnology, life science, renewable energy, and consumers foods.

Advances in microprocessors, memories, NGN services, software, IT services, and communication technologies will make it possible to build high tech and computing devices affordable and available at anywhere. For example, Cloud Computing, Mobile internet will be dominant and increasing number of people will be living and working within "virtual worlds" being more productive online than offline.

New Innovation will change the future of business and that will create new opportunity for high tech industry to jointly go to market and develop product that customers will buy as the new technology and continuous changes will occur at all levels in the supply chain.

If companies want to be on the leading edge of technology and innovative then they must scan quickly and efficiently all the potential opportunities regardless of industry or sector. From there companies will discover unlimited possibilities and combinations, which will help to create new state-of-the-art products or services to propel the future.

Innovation will be the key success factor for business. Every organization will need to think for smart future and that is “Be a future innovation leader”

Monday, November 09, 2009

GO GREEN, SAVE ENERGY and CHANGE LIVING


Today, every one wants to stick with three words GO GREEN, SAVE ENERGY and CHANGE LIVING; start from the news, politics, fashion, and even technology.

The truth of today’s life is every single thing we do has an impact on the planet -- good or bad, need to decide. For example, manufactured mobile, toys can affect the quality of life in Europe, US and Asia.

Our intakes are getting diluted with the created pollution for our development. We eat variety of foods, live in cement jungle and dump technological products with huge piles; do we care how much it has poisoned our health? The average life of human being has reduced by 2-4 years and that’s all because of our living - what we eat, live and what we suck in air.

Why wouldn't anyone want to GREEN?

The good news going green is that as an individual, we have the power of sense to control most of our choices and the impact we create: from where we live to what we buy, eat, and initializing global impact.

Its necessities that ‘Knowing how to go green at home and work is invaluable’
There is a need to map out the route to excellence. We have to make a short list of the things that we can do at our daily life to make a difference.

• Save energy
• Save water
• Less gas and better health!
• Eat smart
• Skip the bottled water.
• Think before you buy.
• Borrow instead of buying.
• Buy smart.
• Keep electronics out of the trash.
• Make your own cleaning supplies.

I am sure our grandchildren-and their children-will thank us for living more sustainably. Let's start now.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Change in Attitude

Since my departure from London to my home land, I have come across with many changes. Though I am reluctant to disclose the changes with every possibility to search the important factors that influence my journey, I have found for many changes attitude matters [throughout our personal and professional lives] the most. I structured many findings comparing to on the basis of religion, work, country, age and sex to the similar situation we have multiple reaction.

With many examples start from morning to evening [365x24x7], I discover attitude [spider-like structures] can be changed by a number of sources including people, neighbor, friend, family, business, media, or the object itself. All the factors who affect our behavioral attitude changes the way we think perform and react that can be temporary or it can be permanent. In simple way, People in all class always adopt, modify, and surrender attitudes to fit there ever-changing needs and interests. That can relate with our all actions for example, breaking rules, doing corruption, politics , or helping others, answering questions or setting up your mindset for good or bad activity.

Can I change the attitude?

At initial research, I discover attitude cannot be changed by simple education or giving good lessons. It is process of farming the root problem with positive behavior and that brings strong understanding of individual emotional cares. Change in attitude is more likely to occur if the suggestion is accompanied by change in other factors underlying belief and attitude.

Acceptance of new attitudes depends on who is presenting the knowledge, how it is presented, how the person is perceived, the credibility/experience of the communicator, and the conditions by which the knowledge was received. I noticed less committed people do change their ideas more frequently. They listen once and forget at second time for good follow up. We are more likely to accept information if we feel the communicator has no intent to change our attitudes and opinions.

I strongly recommend creating a positive attitude to every actions we responsible to; we have to respect others as a habit and must have attitude to learn from mistakes through repetition and conscious effort. Creating and maintaining a positive attitude is the most efficient and low-cost investment one we can make in order to change our life and bright sunshine to our daily life.

I wish everyone a ‘Merry Christmas’ and a ‘Happy New Year 2009’.

Mansing Bhor

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Enough Is Enough..... but what Next?


After the Mumbai carnage, angry voices are now heard on the street, on the web and in phone inbox. And I ask my self why we shouldn’t speak. Because we are common people, work and live in this dream city and now we want voice -- enough is enough, our grief has turned into anger; anger directed against to all who did nothing to stop the terror attacks.

What happened in Mumbai can happen in any part of the world. Twenty-two foreigners were among those killed and more than 200 people were injured and this is all official records. It’s obvious that authority has not learned its lessons from the past and reluctant to learn from today. They only care for citizen’s votes, making sure that it will not fall in to other side.

We are simply victim from every side and we have created a tendency to react only after a terrible incident had happened and people are already dead. Just pointing out others we should look our self and ask what I have done? Did I care about others in daily life; have I done any thing which will benefit to man kind? Do I have right to ask explanation to the people who are corrupt and I have simply made them more corrupt.

I feel we have fear of our own existence; we simply talk without any demand for action. We have a feeling but the feelings are not strong enough to bring the revolution for our country man and that will come up, when the death of somebody close to us will make us fictional.

The crisis has not ended. It is going to be a long haul before the physical wounds heal. It will take even longer for the emotional scars to heal. The enemy is internal and external, if we strong internally no one will dare to touch us.

Instead of mourning, - united only in tragedy, we have to be together without any differences and fight to the common enemy, that’s where we come across in our daily life. We all have right to protect our self and demand for accountability and make it necessary to counter attack to survive, Otherwise we shall remain in the zone of danger for all the times to come.

I am not proud to be an Indian and will do every thing to make sure that my motherland is safe and secure from those who are terrorizing my brothers and sisters.

Jay Hind!!

Monday, November 05, 2007

BPO girl killed on last day at work

All Indians,

The news has sullen whole country with an embarrassment that talent pool cannot survive in modern India. Jyoti Chowdhury, 22-year-old employee at a Wipro call centre in Pune was raped and killed by the driver.

What we can learn from this experience or just leave it like for next incident to happen. My family member is working in Indian BPO and I am really concern for the safety and security.

Who is responsible for this? Safety drawbacks from BPO Industry, Lack of Social infrastructure, high education in Women and lack of governance of political system in modern India?

This shocking murder has demanded the assurance to all the family who wants to educate their children to build modern India. They are really concerning of the health and safety issues for their love one and requirement of possible measurement to eliminate such crime.

I have emailed Sonia Gandhi, Prime Minister, Home Minister, India and Home Minister, Maharashtra and waiting for the answers?

In UK we have health and safety regulation and they are responsible for all business activities but in India no one seems care about this. This is a national shame towards women and we should act quickly another wise there will be many victims in future.

Financial punishment will not bring, those innocent back in life but by doing some thing we will keep alive other innocent by getting hurt. There is so much to do in India but seems no one bothers?

We have to take an assurance from all the BPO companies that female worker are safe during night shift. There is a crucial need to be review on the health and safety on every 03 months and report should be public.

Companies don’t do proper background checks while employing drivers this is a real concern. If BPO can make millions of dollar profit why don’t they have concern for health and safety? Sorry to think about but they will understand when their love one will get hurt one day!!

We need to work before, not after!! We have to send message across !!!!

Safety first

• Don't sit in the Cab if there is no Male employee.
• According to NASSCOM rules no female employee can be pick up and drop at first and last place.
• Only Driver is allowed to drive not his friend? Or any kind of friendly service.
• Check the roster as you board on the cab, which mentions the route.
• Please ask your male colleagues to behave professionally with the Driver.
• Please don't sleeps while you travelling to office?
• Please don't use mobile while you travelling and always make sure that the route you are travelling is correct.
• Make sure that you have all the detail at home/family member include
1. Cab driver mobile number – every week
2. Your friend’s mobile number and home details
3. Emergency phone number in diary or remember by mouth
4. Transport control number

If female employee looks any thing suspect then they can call police emergency, transportation facilities. If they don't like drivers behaviour please brings in attention to the management next day.

Please all female employees do not compromise with your life? Specially pick up and drop points!! Please be straight forward and strong voice all the time.

Such incidents will set back efforts to BPO growth and equal rights to women in Modern India. We need to have professional who can work on the safety of BPO staff and provide a new image to our country. What I believe is we have to look after each other!!

Can we bring the confidence in Available talent pool?

Yours sincerely,

Mansing Bhor
London
mansing.bhor@towerhamlets.gov.uk

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

India at 60 in a Changing World: next 20 Years


Dear All,


Yesterday 15.10.2007, I went to London School of Economics to attend an event on India’s 60th birthday. The main guest were,

OP Bhatt - Chairman of the State Bank of India
Mervyn King - Governor of the Bank of England
Kamal Nath -Minister for commerce and industry for the Indian Government
YV Reddy - Governor of the Reserve Bank India
Nicholas Stern - IG Patel Chair in Government and Economics and director of the India Observatory at LSE.

The event stated at 06.15 PM with excited audience. The main idea of event was to launch of LSE’s India Observatory. We all want to hear from where we are and where we heading with lots of up and downs!

I was remembering the Jawaharlal Nehru’s words which courage all Indians to make their way to the evolution, “At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom"

But as we all know the where the problem lies in country like India. The event started with the Nicholas Stern, introduction speech and continued by Kamal Nath. Mr Nath, who was named the FDI (Foreign Direct Investment) Personality of the Year 2007, covered many issues of Indian social infrastructure, education, poverty, urban planning, particularly school education and basic health care. Let me tell you all that our public spending is among the lowest in the World.

The great lecture came from Nicholas Stern, YV Reddy and OP Bhatt, with their great idea of what India needs to do in upcoming years. Nicholas Stern, urged that India cannot become a nation with high growth and vast areas untouched by development, where the benefits of growth grow only to a few people. OP Bhatt, started with his feather idea from Krishna to Peacock theater. YV Reddy suggested that gaps in social, health, urban planning and education need to be urgently remedied. We know what to do, and there are resources to do it. What we need now is some determined action to do what we can do and must do.

The argument made by Howard Davies- Chair, was very helpful with his PowerPoint presentation. India can spend a much higher proportion of its public resources on school education, basic health care, agriculture on both of which its percentage share of public spending is among the lowest in the world. He also advised spend much more in building up a larger physical infrastructure, including more roads, more power supplies and more water. In some of these, the private sector can help. As the current Physical and social infrastructure is not enough to sustain the India’s growth.

Mervyn King came with a great sense of necessary spending on public services, in addition to improving the system of delivery of these services, with more attention paid to incentives and disciplines, and better cooperation within the micro economy. He made a point that money will continue to come very rapidly into the government's hands if the fast economic growth continues. What is critically important is to use these generated resources to remedy India's continuing deficiencies, in particular in basic health care, in school education and in rapidly expanding its physical infrastructure.

In my statement I will say India is one of the world's fastest-growing economies, but has some of the sharpest inequalities in the world. In a nation of 1.1 billion people and our expected population will be 1.63 Billion in 2050, is this is a wake up call for Indian Government. Currently records shows at least 300 million live below the official poverty line of $1 a day and many millions more live close to this line. The adult literacy rate is around 61 per cent. Life expectancy stands at 64, while the under-five child-mortality rate is 57 per 1,000, though in rural areas the figure is closer to 62 per thousand. There is a widespread problem of child labour which no one thought to cover during the event.

It is also remarkable that India's main success has come not in traditional areas of exports but largely on newer industries, with a large component of high-tech and but still had problems connected with financial instability, trade imbalances and choking public administration.

In many cities the roads, already desperately over-crowded, are becoming ludicrously clogged with new, affordable cars. There is no understanding whatsoever of what price is being paid by the rivers and mountains and irrigation and ground water, there is no questioning of that because we are on a roll.

“The environmental costs of the economic transformation”

The quality of governance is declining, especially in the northern states, because many politicians and bureaucrats are becoming more corrupt and self-serving. We are using Right To Information Act because government agencies are not reluctant to share the information. As long as we don’t get clean service from Govt agencies, we will not enjoy our independent.

We are a young nation and we need to unleashed, the energy of our youth will drive India onto a new growth path. I had a little chat with OP Bhatt - Chairman of the State Bank of India and YV Reddy, Governor of the Reserve Bank India, regarding the talent outside India and government should make a strategy to bring that talent back to India and work in Government sector on professional level. Kamal Nath -Minister for commerce and industry for the Indian Government, only said, “Meet me in Indian High Commission”; to find out new event I went to party reception area of London School of economics organised only for delegates and speakers. I tried to interact with many officials from SBI and India Observatory, but failed to get direct contact with Indian High Commission or from Ministry of commerce and industry.

I must say to all Indians that “a moment has came, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, and when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance."


Mansing Bhor


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Visitng Palace of Westminister

Dear All,

Yesterday (08/11/2006), I visited The Palace of Westminster, also known as the Houses of Parliament or Westminster Palace, in London, England. The Palace lies on the north bank of the River Thames in the London borough of the City of Westminster close by other government buildings in Whitehall.

The reason I was visiting the House of Parliament for Prime Ministers Question Hour. By unofficial law, in the United Kingdom where every Wednesday when the House of Commons is sitting, the Prime Minister spends half an hour answering questions from Members of Parliament. Unfortunately because of State Opening of Parliament for the 2006-07 , the parliament session was cancelled and it will be on 15 th November with the speech of her majesty queen.

I was able to get the pass through ticket office and proceed to my journey. I went to House of Common and then Public Gallery. I was accomplished by the staff for further information what exactly happening in the Houses of Parliament. I saw Govt Ministers along with opposition leader from the Gallery. Ex foreign minister (Mr. Jack Straw) and Educational minister and other leaders holding positions in UK Govt.

I have personally met Lord Swaraj Paul (a member of the House of Lords and He was knighted by the Queen in 1978) and had a good hand shake. I asked him about his day and good chat. It was great experience to learn and catch all the necessary experience to use in my career. I visited the House of Commons Where The Indian Independence Act 1947 was the legislation passed by the British Parliament that officially approved the independence of India and the partition of India.

On my way home I visited Westminster hall, the oldest existing part of the Palace of Westminster, was erected in 1097. Westminster Hall has also been used for lyings-in-state during state funerals and ceremonial funerals for example Sir Winston Churchill (1965), the most recent lying-in-state was that of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother in 2002. This hall also been used for Elizabeth II's Silver Jubilee (1977) and Golden Jubilee (2002).

It was great experience which every India should feel and experience in their life. I was inside the parliament for one and half hour. I have realised when you come across strong things, your mind, body, soul also become strong. Westminster is the place where you will feel “POWER” which ruled the world for many centuries.

If you have comments please send me.

Regards,

M Bhor

Thursday, August 24, 2006

KHE Experts

Hello Friends,

As a child I have spend a significant amount of time and energy daydreaming, stretching my imaginations. I always believe “Every man’s destiny is in own hands” (Ref: Sydney Smith)

There are only two kinds of people in this world “The realists and the dreamers”. The realists know where they're going. The dreamers have already been there." And then what stands in the way of dreaming big in your own life?

• Fear :
• Lack of Knowledge :
• Negative association :

The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore. Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of insufficiency? Whatever the case may be, before you pack up ship ask yourself: What's the worst that could happen by trying to achieve my dream?

If the best that could happen outweighs the worst that could happen, move forward in confidence. If you're using lack of knowledge as an excuse for not pursuing your truest dreams, ask yourself: What is the least I need to know in order to go for it? Seek to gain that knowledge, and then move forward and keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.

Any way, I have scored top 50 positioned in Top 100 KHE Experts website by giving right answer. Check this out!!!

Have a nice day!


Kindly Regards,

Mansing Bhor

Monday, August 14, 2006

Paris Disney Land - May 2006

My Interview with Carrie

Hi All,

Marketing profs website has been published my interview with Carrie. if you would like to comment on this please give me your feed back.

Please click on this webpages:

1. Meet Mansing Bhor

2. Member Profile

Please click on above links to find more about me.

Thank you.

Kindly Regards,

Mansing Bhor